Part 2: 5 Essential Components To Achieving Your Goals

In part 1 of the mini course you made a list of what you don't want. You kept this list to 10-15 entries to ensure that you uncovered the core, non-negotiable items. Now it is time to do the next important part of Contrast and that is examining “WHY” you don't want the things you listed.

Why you don't want something is crucial. Please don't be tempted to skip this step unless you enjoy working harder and longer to get to the end result.

Is Looking At “WHY” You Don't Want Something Really Crucial?

Yes it is.

Let me ask you this. If you don't know why you don't want something, how do you know you want to exclude it from your life? How will you feel if you experience this particular thing?

That's it, you got it! “WHY” you don't want something is helping you understand what experience, feeling or emotion you would like to avoid.

What Happens If You Don't Identify “WHY” You Want To Avoid A Particular Experience?

As mentioned before, not knowing what emotion or feeling you want to avoid makes a very weak case for standing either for or against it. If nothing else, what kind of measure of success will you have?

Not knowing what experience you want to avoid also robs you of a tremendous gift. The gift of understanding a limiting belief, a block, an obstacle that stands in the way of your goal achievement.

“So what?”, you ask? Consider this:

Why Is It Important To Identify What Experience Or Feeling You Want To Avoid?

Knowing that you have a limiting belief will help you make progress on your goal. It's true and the absence of this information is what is stopping people from succeeding.

Let's take Jacob's example, one of my many clients who has benefited from this process.

Jacob knew he wanted to write a book but hadn't really seriously started it. Actually he did start but then stopped and resolved to get to it in again someday. It was gnawing at him though. He did want to write a book. When he made his “What I Don't Want” list he noticed that he had written “I don't want a memoir”, and “I don't want the book not to make me money”.

Uncovering The Experience or Feeling You Want To Avoid Is Crucial.

Jacob proceeded to write down the reasons why he did not want a memoir or why he was afraid that the book would not sell and he soon realized that not writing a memoir was a decision he made based on the advice he got from a copywriter who had reviewed the first few chapters of his draft. The copywriter told him that memoirs don't sell and he should restructure his book.

He also realized that since he took this advice, he had stopped writing altogether. He was making no progress on his book and was finding lots of excuses why this was happening.

What Jacob Didn’t Realize Was Holding Him Back.

What Jacob didn't realize was that he was not likely to make any progress on the book because he did not want to create commercial book he wasn't passionate about. He would not have come to understand this just by looking at his What I Don't Want list. It was important that Jacob also understood what feeling he was trying to avoid.

By now, I hope you are convinced that understanding “WHY” you don't want something is not worth skimping on. Not if you want to speedily, make progress on goals that are important to you! Don't cheat yourself.

In fact, once you uncover the feeling behind why you don't want something it is important to address it. Hint: the feeling/emotion that you uncover is typically a fear or a limiting belief that will block your goal achievement.

So how do you address it? One quick way I know is to use the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I will be giving a complementary teleseminar on EFT very soon, so stay tuned!

EFT is very instrumental in helping you get clear about What You Want.

More on how to get clear about What You Want in part 3 of the mini course. Look forward to seeing you next time!

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